Micro-aggressions

Micro- Aggressions - Everyday indignities that are communicated through words, behaviors or the environment -  intentionally or unintentionally  - with an insulting message behind it (Laureate Education Inc., 2013).    

On Tuesday, I was in a salon listening to a conversation between two women who did not know each other.  One was a technician and the other a client.  The technician was talking about a previous client and how much she talked.  She stated that the previous client was from Texas and "you know how people form Texas talk all the time".  The client who she was working with then said I am actually from Texas also.

The technician marginalized and invalidated her client's experiential reality by stereotyping people form another region of the country.

 

This week as I have been reading, thinking and writing about racism, classism, ableism and religion-ism I have also been thinking of all the other isms there are that divide us as humans.  The above example is how we as Americans  marginalize each other simply because of where we live.  South vs North.  Coast vs Middle.  Rural vs Urban.  Blue vs Red.   Isn't it time we share some common goals?  Isn't it time to cooperate rather than compete based on our geographic region?   Isn't it time to lift each other up rather then tear each other down? Isn't it time to realize that until we work together our country is never going to be everything it can be?

On a lighter note.  I am left handed.  I have noticed that when I use my credit card, most of the time the sales person puts my sales slip on the counter for me to sign they turn it for a right handed person to sign.  I then take the receipt turn it the other direction.  I know that this is a habit and has nothing to do with malice, but again it does tell me I am in the minority of dominant handedness.

Everyday people inadvertently say and do things that send a messages that marginalize or invalidate the experiences of others.  We all do it.  I know that after intentionally watching for micro-aggression in my day to day interactions I will certainly be more mindful of in the way I communicate with others.  

References:

Laureate Education Inc. (2013). Microaggressions in Everyday Life. Retrieved from:

https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_3466978_1%26url%3D

Define Culture and Diversity

I asked 3 people to define culture and diversity

My Mother

Culture: The unique practices of people making them different from another group.

Diversity: Melting pot of peoples, whose ideas and cultures are different from one another.

My Father

Culture: The norms and practices of a group of people.

Diversity: Involving people of different races, nationality and people.

My Partner

Your surrounding community that influences your thoughts and beliefs.

The things about you that make you stand out from the normal culture but allow you to be a part of it. 

My definition of culture 

I have come to understand through my recent course work and reflection.

Culture is the unconscious rules that guide us (each individual human) in everything we do.  It is our way of being in the world and is derived from all the interactions of our life.

Diversity: All the individuals of the world because no two people are the same.


When I consider the various definitions of culture and diversity from the people I asked, I have noticed that all the definitions of culture appear go beyond just surface culture.  No one has chosen to define culture through food, music, or holidays specifically. My parents both considered both culture and diversity as it relates to groups not individuals.  My partner's definitions both include reference to individuals not groups. 

I believe the largest omission in all the definitions is the depth of where culture comes from.  That is not just our family or community or race or ethnicity or religion or sexual orientation or our hobbies or economic status or education or our abilities or our geographic home or our customs or our job but all that and more that create our culture.  It is so broad it is almost impossible to describe.

In the last three weeks I have spent an enormous amount of time thinking about culture and diversity.  I have arrived at a fairly comprehensive definition of both with the help of the experts we have heard speak and material we have read.  I am sure that my definitions still have room to grow.  What I have come to discover is that in order to understand culture and diversity you must dedicate time to really reflect  and think about it from your personal perspective and beyond.   

3 Items...

Imagine the following:

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

Tonight as my family sat at the dinner table, I asked them to help me with this assignment.  It had occurred to me that if we were only able to pick 3 things that represented our family culture then our family needed to make the decisions together.  After a lot of scratching of our heads and realizing that really as long as we were safe and together there were not many THINGS we felt we would have to have.  We finally decided on the following 3 items.

1) A box of photos so we could remember and share stories and lessons learned form our  family and friends who contributed to the creation of our family culture.  They would be a historical reference as well as a source of inspiration.

2) Our recipe notebook that is filled with all the recipes of the foods we love to share together.  Sharing meals is a major component of our family culture.  We love to cook together and eat together.  We share the highs of our day and the lows of our day.  We play word games and we sometimes just share silence.  Having the recipes, even if we could not find the proper ingredients would be a source of comfort and hope.  It would also be a piece of our culture that could be added on to as we added to our experiences in our new home.

3) Finally, we would bring our daughter's doll.  The doll has traveled with us, been sick with us, celebrated with us and is really part of our family.  The doll would also be a source of memories and something our daughter would have as a reminder of where she came from as she created her family culture when she was grown. 

If we were told that in the end we were only really able to take one item it would have to be the photo box because it would be filled with the most meaning and representation of who we are, where we came from so we could move forward in our new life.

Over the years I have watched the news and seen horrific events that have forced people to leave their homes and abandon what they know just to survive.  In those circumstances any source of comfort from the past must be a gift.  For me I must say that having my family intact would be my greatest source of comfort.  From my perspective, sitting at my computer in the safety of my home, it is what we are as a family that represents our culture more then any small item we have. ... but I have never been a refugee in a new country.... and I can not even imagine how that might feel.